I am normal, again

Back to normal life.
A life where there's peace.
Peace that would calm my mind.

Back to normal life.
A life which happiness that I could find.
Almost in everywhere.

Back to normal life.
A life that I could express myself better.
Better enough and far away from mind stretching question.

Back to normal life.
A life that I would miss when I reach 80.
Hopefully...

Sure enough. I feel pain when I pinch myself.

I'm here

You wouldn't know, I'm here.
When you cry, I'm here.
When you are missing someone, I'm here.
When you sad, I'm here.
When you lonely, I'm here.
When you are bored, I'm here.
When you are busy, I'm here.
When you are tired, I'm here.
When the world turn upside down, I'm here.
Yet, you wouldn't know, I'm here.

我爱上的只是爱情的滋味吗？

Stucked

Like what Samz said, my mind is stucked as if my computer's Window Media Player that plays only Michael Wong's "The First Time"...

I know I wouldn't know...

他泪过

很迷惘，差点失控了。
一句谢谢，足以让他乐整天。一句晚安，让他甜丝丝的一觉到天亮。一句加油，让他有了冲刺。
虽然没有童话，但至少他比想象中更爱她。她考试，他比她更不安。她伤心，他绝对也不会高兴。
虽然不知道她到底哪里不舒服，但他也会在每晚替她祈祷，希望她有一天能健康起来。
虽然一些事情的可能性不大，但他还抱着希望。
虽然路很曲折，但他真的不想放弃。
虽然不是第一次，感觉上却很陌生，他顿时迷失了方向。
虽然有很多的虽然，他，叹了一口气，相信明天会更好。

那是第一次如此地慌乱…

~ome ton m'I ( read it backwards )

Elloz. I'm here again to express myself.
and I have to say, I'm not emo~

I stare. It's because I was thinking of something that I couldn't find the answer no matter what.
I stare for the second time. Ridiculously, I couldn't stop thinking of you. It's true and believe me! Whenever my pen stop dancing on my notebook, my mind starts running the images of you. Many times before my friend tried to wake me up from daydreaming, and yet it's way out of my control. I hardly laugh or even smile bitterly when jokes are in the air.

I stare again. This time, I feel abnormal in myself. I feel awkward. I feel... a rush in bloodstream.

I hate myself for being cute. I hate myself for being childish. I wish I born earlier. I wish I'm not the younger one. Yet all I can do is accept the fate that God granted me. God, you there? I hope You would hear my humble prayers and lead me along.


I stare for the last time. This time I was blank-minded. Blurry image pop-out. Toneless. Mute. I noticed I've fall for you.

'Jia you' in ur undang test..

the name of stupid

A message a day, a greet every night, a smile on your face, and even a picture of yours.
The factors above would be the ingredients of making my mind colourful, my life wonderful.
Sometimes, I do build castle in the air. I do stare at 1 place and my mind just blew away along with you. I smile even when there's no reason for me to smile at. Now, I couldn't receive any FM from my friends around clearly. Sometimes, I don't know how to react or reply the messages that you sent. I'm nervous. I stunned. I'm lost. Even when the phone is not vibrating, every 2 minutes, I would take a glimpse at my phone if there's any message icon. I'm blind. I'm deaf. I'm dumb. The only thing I could sense is you. You wouldn't know, everything. I leave this for myself. Emotions fill the atmosphere. The only I could do is to stay contact with you...

I heard but I never listen. I wish, I wish and I wish.

奇怪的感觉

真的，好久没有这种感觉了，差点把它给忘了。虽然我还不敢很肯定那种感觉就是心跳，只能说，是有了火花。迷迷糊糊的就因为冲动这两个字，我跟你要了个联络方式，万万没想到你竟然会给我耶。惊讶，惊喜，的我不知道该给什么反应才好。朋友都调戏我，说我恋爱了，事实是这样子吗？一见钟情真的存在吗？好想好想和你过每一分钟，却不知道我会不会太心急。想约你出来看戏，但我们只相识了4天。熟悉的陌生人，就是所谓如此吗？

真的，好久没有在每一分钟都会想着某个人的这种奇怪的感觉了，时不时发呆，脑袋放空，每当有人提起你的名字，我就会很奇怪的关心一下，有时还会变得不自然。那天在2009年情人节所发生的，一直在我脑海里放映着。就像看不腻的电影，重复又重复。现在的我，就像被轻轻拍了一下的蚊子，头昏脑胀般，blur一整天…情歌一直往耳朵播放，我真的很不想再失去一个那么好的女孩，也因为这样，我乱了脚步，迷失了方向… 爱，在哪？

是或不是，要或不要…

后来

后来 才发现没有勇气的爱
是被情人节拒绝到千里之外
学会了如何去爱
却忘了你已不在

深爱你 思念你 仰慕你
却不能保护你
那些日子寻觅不会来
因为早已消失在人海

害怕被伤害 还把爱情当玩笑来开
我已不记得 什么叫做 爱
情人节的那一夜 到底会是什么在脑海
那时候的爱情 就是那么简单爱

因为曾经被伤害 而不再大胆地爱
因为不再爱 也就变成了寂寞的后来
心也有所摊开 岂不是为了爱？

眼看朋友们一个个有了心仪对象
不禁羡慕又嫉妒 心理也变得不怎么平衡
爱 就像蘑菇般 已蓬勃地展开

心不再狂跳 脸不再红
心变得很沉重 脸皮变得粗了

那种感觉 还算是 爱 吗？

后来 麻痹了…

ordinary

Back to ordinary after CNY. I know my blog is 80% dead now. Laziness and idealess for my blog. Nothin' special happened. A new year, another ordinary year. Life is just about life. Whenever I tune into local news, Malaysia's politics play dirty, Obama's plan to clean the shit out from Bush's ass and bla bla bla... It's all ordinary things. Correct me if I were wrong. Humanity is losing its glow and falls deep. In reality, people would betray for money, kill for power, fight for girls... The dark side of humanity. The ugly face behind the smiling mask of everyone. There were such saying that wherever there is light, there is shadows.

Is there a need for money?
Is there a desire for dream?
Is there... a word for a love?

Current mission:
Looking for the aim in my life and Goddess in my heart