就是·爱这样

我以不知道要怎么样了

就是爱这样

身躯不再听从命令

一翻开书本

头上出现的竟是一团雾水

搞不清楚

也不明白

放弃

就很自然的

蔓延到我的意念

答应过你的

要好好读书

害怕你不高兴的样子

更加不想看到你失望的样子

我

就好像在沙时钟里

一分一秒

被沙子吞没

好久没有这样写部落格

也没了灵感

心情的交错及复杂

我

形容不出来

叹气

也就成为我唯一能做的事

我

仿佛听见

藏在心灵里恶魔

在奸笑着

它

打败了我

呼唤我懒惰、恶劣、暴躁的一面

黑色幽默

就是累计在我面具后的结晶品

嘴边不禁露出不自然的笑容

无情讽刺着坐在电脑面前打着这个部落格的人

就是

爱

这样…

sarcasm

It's never been too late
If you wanna made the very first step in study

It's never been too easy
If you don't wanna push yourself hard enough

It's never been too hard
If you had try your best

It's indeed sarcastic to say
that I understand the natural law of study
yet true enough
laziness and procrastination pull me out of my routine running track

I've gone through a stage
where I am really disappointed with myself
I couldn't find a point of equilibrium
between study and co-curriculum activities
between love and friendship
between family and myself

I always thought that I know myself well enough
yet again I've gotta say it sarcastically
I Don't Really Fucking Understand The True Side of Myself

I might look nice, kind, blur, innocent and perhaps underage
In fact, I am confused sometimes with my personality change

I disappointed many ones
and that excluded myself...

STPM is coming
when will I change myself into a matured thinking little teenager?

kuala selangor makan seafood

kaiwen: eh, later nite go KS eat seafood, u on?
bangkia: ok la no problem...
kaiwen: ok. i try ask other ppl.. if confirm i tell u...

The above conversation starts the whole event... after i listen to some famine30 group leader things, i go fetch some buddies. then str8 go kaiwen house wait some snails... zzZ

around 7pm sth like dat we all go KS... 130km/h is my top speed.. @@ wahahaha.. some gay is telling jokes while im driving and sprint all the way to KS... lol.. here's some photos.. XD

-bangkia and milky-

- 2 brokeback mountain gay-

-we indeed looked happy =D-

-cheers and makan lor... look at the sisa-sisa makanan-
-SM and TC, 2 gay lous-

-fuyoh fuyoh, "dai-ga-je" eng so serious-

haha... on my way back home, i drove 130km/h.. saw lots of fancy sports car. frens howling like wolf when they saw those cars.. too excited and they was a bit on alcoholic high @@

that's all.. chaoz. ^^

Finally

Finally, my blue tag is passed on to the next generation. As what our President said, it remains as a doubt whether is menyerahkan kebanggaan kepada AJK baru atau menyerahkan masalah kepada AJK baru. @@

I see some candicates were unhappy because they were not chosen as the new committees. I hope whatever the decision that has been made is the correct one. The new committees hopefully will be a very strong, united and non-political team.

Gambateh! We shall wait and see...

Relieved bangkia.

slow paces

my mood swings. it made me drove slowly yet not safely. all i have in my mind is about u and me. what we did yesterday night. i really put some deep thought into it. for some reasons, i would think that i m way off too childish for u. i love to play. i would love to have some freedoms. the prom we went, considered a tragedy for both of us. i thought u will be enjoying as much as i do. yet, u didn't. the whole tiring night, even when i woke up today, my mind still running and processing the data about u. am i really wrong? i hate myself when i made u sad. i hate myself for not good in making u smile happily. i hate myself. i m out of words to describe myself as a trash. for the time being, it seems like u reply every message reluctantly with only few words. my mind was stucked when i was trying to figure a way to solve our problem. i hardly know. i am just a jerk for u. i am naive. and i really hope that u would understand me. i really wanted to have some fun time in the prom after 2 tiring weeks of baby-sit those juniors on their task. i know that u would think the only focus i have is on my co-curricular activities but not u. sincerely, i am sorry for that. i really cant divide my focus. for past few weeks, the misunderstanding from my family, pressure from the study, all of that had almost drive me crazy. the only happy moment that i have is when u're beside me. yet, i've ruined the moment when i thought it should be enjoyable moment for both of us. i'm sorry if i really let u think that i was leaving u alone in the prom.

It is easy
to love each other deeply

Yet,
it is hard
to live and stay happy together all the time.
相爱简单相处难

crazy syok!

crazy people in a very crazy night, logically and obviously, we did crazy stuff, right?? no doubt about it! at HorSinSai(susin) house, we had our very own way of BBQ, then we were ready for the punked' of the year! 3 bday girl and boy, Samz, Hsienz, Eng will be having their very face go thru our nice nice facial treatment specialty. we kinda like bluff them and told them the cake is rm60 each! unbelievably, they believed it! muahahaha.. then, after we sang bday song, here it comes! PIAK!!! we all throw the cream and do it all over the place @@". Siao! every1 kena la, chiaheng and kokthai were hiding in the house, no dare to come out! ceh! lousy~ nvm, eventually both of them kena too... serious case! 20 X 2 hands with cream are pasting all over their body PARTS. hengchuan, the late comer, is the pities of all. we all prepared and ready for another big punked'! hahaha.. he got his hair all stand up (still standing?) with creams... eeew! yet, it's very enjoyable and memorable and things got sentimental after we went home. muahahaha.. i write this is bcos i wanna make u blur when u read this post and be blur again bcos so many words and words and words!!! yimei is gonna leave us and go to johor to study maktab perguruan. aiyoyoyoyoyo.. she kinda like crying la. we all joke around so she wont so sad. yimei, every1 got their own way of life. dun be sad, we can stil come out and limteh when u come back. dun wory. we geng, we crazy, we siao lang, we highs, we lows, and WE ARE THE TRUE FRENZ!



words of sentimental

Susin the HorSinSai :
Hey guys, thanks for tonight =) its a memorable nite ;) i really enjoyed tonight =) love ya and sweet dream B-)

Yinyin the Eng :
Err.. tonite really suprising me alot.. hahaha.. wei.. i not yet 19 yrd old den u all ed treat me lik tis.. haha.. cos i really din hav any idea about the 'celebration' d.. haha.. n dis is d 2nd time i celebrate bday with a big gang after last year.. n it wil b a memorable bday 4 me 4ever.. thanks u all.. really.. i ed almost cry.. hahahaha.. mai gong la.. hahahahaha.. good nite and sweet dream...

Khershing the KSer :
guys.. thanks for tonight ya.. especially hsien, yy, cyau n sorry for anyone who been targeted and dis night might b the onli night we can play such craz and x restriction.. don angry har.. lolx.. and remember to wash ur butter cream hair onli sleep.. n yichun said tq much 4 tonite.. haha.. nitez sweet dreams

Chzehsien the hsienz :
tell u all a secret, just now when i take shower d water is so cloudy like milk walau so geli like crimb out from sg klang, r u all oso??? 2nite is a swet and memorable nite,thx 2 all of u tat celebrate bday with us, its so sweet and un4gten.. although u all bluf my feel tolf tat d cake cost rm60 bt i reli so hapi and touch.. 1 of my wish is hope v can be fren 4va.. i think is time 2 put a full stop if nt d angpau oso cant cover my credit... lol.. at las just wanna say thx u all over and over again... v r rock n crazy family yoo!! hv a gud nite and swet dream.. true fren, hsienz..

Choryau the Samz :
terima kasih many many for this wild stuff! i've nvr been so much fun for years already! the 60 bucks cake seriuously rock! no hard feelings okay? Mte rocks! =)

Waikit the garfield president :
2day onli gt 1 word 1 say "syok", hehe.. just nw i rili fel very terharu when i saw u all play til so hapy and enjoy. hope we can stil have chance 2 gather like dis. thx 2 all 4coming, thx 2 all that contribute things n energy. last, hope u all wil rmber dis nite. n we hidup as mte ajk, die as mte angle. swet dream

Verntze the Bangkia :
wei.. why write so many? aiyo, i letih tau? i am naib SU, i write and jot down the whole event de mar.. den mayb i gonna take and pass dis laporan to En Nasir. then let him see how strong our relationship is.. not even him can tear apart this kind of strong bond. NO n NEVA! muahahaha...

面具·妆

面具，
可以是一个保护自己的道具，
也可以是用来掩饰自己缺点的一个道具。
当你不想它被猜穿，
却往往一层一层地剖落，
而当你想把它给卸下来，
却怎么卸都卸不掉。

-她，卸下面具-

。
。
。

小丑，
上了浓浓的彩妆，
脸常带着笑容，
到处给人家欢乐，
小丑从来不说话，
手语就是他与人的沟通点，
用沉默，
来看待这世界的现实，
当他伤心时，
只能偷偷地躲在一个角落哭泣，
没人知道，也没人晓得。

-你是否看到他的笑容？-

做回原本的自己，
诚实地对待每一个人，
就是一种诚恳，
一套表达自己的彩妆，
一副对得起自己的面具。